My great-grandmothers virtually had no voices. Most of them never owned property and they left no wills. If they were not the head of the household (which is the case for all of my great-grandmothers) their names were not listed on any US census records prior to 1850. Any information we would have about them would have come from family, church, or cemetery records.
All of my Bedford County great-grandmothers were farmers' wives, though a couple of the later ones were able to branch out of the farm life. We can't hear their stories from their mouths, but we can consider the words of other farmers' wives during similar times and in similar places:
"As a class, farmers’ wives are expected to do more work than
any other housekeeper. We do our own
washing, ironing, taking care of the milk, meat, chickens, which women of other
callings do not. We do our own sewing,
making over an infinite number of old clothes to save the expense of new ones."
"There are compensations to living on a farm anywhere, and
particularly here, that I am sure no other hard way of earning one’s living
brings; but it is hard, and oh! The needlessness of it is the hardest part to
bear! It is not what money brings that I
or any other sensible person wants, but just to do a reasonable amount of
useful work and then a chance to lift one’s eyes and thoughts above the daily
grind."
"I happen to be married to a man who considers it an
unpardonable crime for a woman to sit down to read or study, or to take a
minute to rest."
"I weigh 120 pounds. I
milk seven or eight cows night and morning; run a separator (device which
separates cream from milk); get breakfast, dinner, and supper; do all of the washing
and cleaning; do most of the garden work and rake in some haying. I feel very good most of the time, only when I
get too tired I have a headache and pain in back of my neck. I mend, read, and such, but I don’t have much
time to rest."
"Many farmers’ wives are despondent. I think some are so despondent as not to care
to put forth enough energy to even lift the head. What causes the state of affairs? Is it the treadmill? Is it lack of society? Is it poor food? Is it poor clothes? – good clothes are a
moral support it is said. Is it
unappreciated toil? Is the farmer so
much among animals that he comes to regard his wife as a beast of burden? I have been five years trying to answer these
questions. I hesitated years before
consenting to marry a farmer because I saw that these things were so and I
could not tell why."
"I will try and tell you some of my experiences
and what a woman can endure. I was married
when twenty years old, went to keeping house
the first of July. [We soon] found plenty of
bugs. Of course there wasn't much rest for
many nights. I would take everything outdoors
and'sweep it down from top to bottom and
then scald the logs and then whitewash them
and so on. We lived that way for nearly
twenty years."
"I was married at nineteen and then my farm
life began in earnest .. . I would always rise in
the morning at four or half past, winter and
summer, and have built my own fires, milked
from four to eight cows, prepared the breakfast
and had it at six. I always did my own churning,
and many are the books of poems, histories,
stories and newspapers I have read while
churning .. . I have always done my own washing
and weaving of carpets as I have a large house
and it is furnished with rag carpets. . . . One
summer I piled up one hundred cords of wood
and did my own housework. . . . Not many
modem wives would think they could pull flax,
cut corn, dig potatoes and do all things on a
farm as we used to."
"I used to say that I could select the farmers'
wives from a crowd of women of all classes. They
seemed to have a sort of hopeless spiritless look."
"Before leaving your bedroom, open [the]
window and put your bed to air. Be sure to ask
divine help to carry you through the day. Have
your breakfast well on the way the night before.
Clear the table and wash [the] dishes right off;
don't let them stand to dry or call flies. Sweep
and dust; clean lamps. Then do chamber work.
Prepare dinner. . . . Can you tell me how to do
this and at the same time crowd in the care of
milk from five cows, churning twice a week,
baking for seven in [the] family, attending to
poultry, washing, ironing, mending, sewing,
etc., etc.? I must confess I don't know how to
do it and keep sweet-tempered as a wife and
mother should. God alone knows I would like
to be able to do it."
"I am a farmer'
s wife, sixty years old today
.
Thirty-one years I have spent on an isolated
hilltop, with work, work, work, and starved
for something to read." (from http://tcpl.org/local-history/documents/ithaca-tc/women-roots/lifestylesp19-27.pdf)
And from another source describing the family life of early colonial America:
"By the mid-1700s, across the American colonies . . . travelers
described Americans as coarse-looking country folk. Women and girls kept their hair covered with hats, hoods,
and kerchiefs. Colonials made their own clothes from linen (flax) and wool;
every home had a spinning wheel and a loom, and women sewed and knitted
constantly, as cotton cloth would not be readily available until the nineteenth
century. Plentiful dyes like indigo, birch bark, and pokeberries made colorful
shirts, pants, dresses, socks and caps.
"Americans grew their own food and ate a great deal of
corn—roasted, boiled, and cooked into cornmeal bread and pancakes. Hearty
vegetables like squash and beans joined apples, jam, and syrup on the dinner
table. Given the poor quality of water, many colonials drank cider, beer, and
corn whiskey—even the children! As cities sprang up, cattle drank beer,
yielding a disgusting variant of milk known as “swill milk” that propagated
childhood illnesses.
"Infant mortality was high, and any sickness usually meant
suffering, and often, death. Women,
expected to bear between five and 10 live children, could anticipate a dozen
pregnancies. Bodies wore out fast, and women aged rapidly. Overall life
expectancy hardly tells the tale of the everyday life, where work was hard, the
most minor sicknesses potentially life-threatening, and pleasures few.
"Despite
the reality of this coarse life for common folk, it is worth noting that by
1774 American colonists already had attained a standard of living that far
surpassed that found in even most of the civilized parts of the modern world." (from http://www.patriotshistoryusa.com/teaching-materials/bonus-materials/everyday-life-in-america/)
I calculated the average statistics of my 18 Bedford County great-grandmothers for whom I have information. They were an average of 21 years old when they gave birth to their first child. They had an average of 8 children each over a period of 17 years. This is actually a very generous estimate as odds are they had far more miscarriages, stillbirths, and cases of infant mortality than what was written down and recorded. Their average age of death was 69. By contrast, the average age of their husbands' death was 77.
They were tired. Overworked, Exhausted. And broken. Let's call it what it really was. Their primary roles were that of work horses and baby-making machines. They sacrificed themselves - their essence and very identity - for the welfare of others. Some appear to have had a few years of rest toward the end of their lives. Others worked hard every single day. And then they died. The more children they had, especially boys, the more farm help they provided their husbands. But more children added even more to their own overwhelming work load. I imagine they had no choice in the matter. The men owned everything else and probably claimed ownership to their wives bodies as well. Something meant to be tender, loving, and unifying could easily become one of these women's greatest sources of dread and loathing. And the heartache. The incomprehensible heartache with the premature death of a little one. It happened far too frequently, and I can't imagine the pain ever lessened.
Here's my tribute to my Bedford County great-grandmothers. As much as I appreciate and admire my great-grandfathers' contribution to colonization, the war effort, and evolving affluence, their commitment and sacrifice pale in comparison to the lived experiences of their wives. Help me honor them by thoughtfully reading each of their names as you carefully consider the implications of their life's statistics:
My 2nd Great-Grandmothers
Elizabeth Ellen Harbaugh Ickes
first documented child born when she was 20 years old
at least 8 births in 12 years
she died at age 75
 |
Elizabeth Ellen Harbaugh Ickes
Forest Lawn Memorial Park, Glendale, California |
 |
son Sheldon Ross Ickes
died at age 2 1/2 months
Hoover Cemetery |
son Harry Beecher died at age 2 days
place of burial is unknown
My 3rd Great-Grandmothers
Elizabeth Lingenfelter Ickes
first documented child born when she was 21 years old
at least 8 births in 19 years
she died at age 50
 |
Elizabeth Lingenfelter Ickes
Hoover Cemetery |
daughter Mary Ann Ickes died at age 4 months (her first born)
buried in an unmarked grave, Hoover Cemetery
 |
son William Ickes
died at age 17 years
Hoover Cemetery |
 |
daughter Mandilla Ickes
died at age 12 years
buried next to her mother, Hoover Cemetery |
son John Clayton Ickes died at age 11 months
buried in an unmarked grave, Hoover Cemetery
 |
Daughter Eliza Virginia Ickes Wilt
died at age 19 years, 1 1/2 months after giving birth
Pleasantville Cemetery |
Elizabeth Callihan Harbaugh
first documented child born when she was about 18 years old
at least 2 births in 4 years
her age at time of death is unknown
her place of burial is unknown
son George Wisegarver Harbaugh died at age 25 years (killed in Civil War)
place of burial is unknown
My 4th Great-Grandmothers
Mary Haverstock Ickes
first documented child born when she was about 21 years old
at least 12 births in 24 years
she died at age 65
 |
Mary Haverstock Ickes
Old Union Cemetery |
Elizabeth Wisegarver Lingenfelter
first documented child born when she was 21 years old
at least 12 births in 30 years
she died at age 60
 |
Elizabeth Wisegarver Lingenfelter's broken headstone
Horn United Methodist Church Cemetery |
son George Lingenfelter died at less than 1 year of age
Horn United Methodist Church Cemetery
daughter Rachel M Lingenfelter died at age 18 years
Horn United Methodist Church Cemetery
son David A Lingenfelter died at age 1 year
Horn United Methodist Church Cemetery
daughter Sarah Ann Lingenfelter died at age 6 years
Horn United Methodist Church Cemetery
 |
Elizabeth Wisegarver Lingenfelter's broken headstone surrounded by
smaller, unmarked headstones which could be marking her
deceased childrens' graves |
Rachel Hammond Harbaugh
first documented child born when she was 24 years old
at least 9 births in 16 years
her age at time of death is unknown
her place of burial is unknown
Margaret Reininger Callihan
first documented child born when she was 17 years old
at least 14 births in 27 years
she died at age 47, 2 1/2 years after her last recorded birth
 |
Margaret Reininger Callihan
Mock Dunkard Church Cemetery |
My 5th Great-Grandmothers
Maria Elizabeth Stambaugh Ickes
first documented child born when she was about 25 years old
at least 5 births in 10 years
she died at about age 73
 |
Maria Elizabeth Stambaugh Ickes
Old Union Cemetery |
Margaret Reighard Haverstock
first documented child born when she was about 18 years old
at least 8 births in 22 years
she died at about age 84
buried in an unmarked grave
Mount Eaton Lutheran Cemetery, Wayne County OH
Elizabeth Blackburn Wisegarver
first documented child born when she was 24 years old
at least 11 births in 17 years
she died at age 72
her place of burial is unknown
daughter Eve Wisegarver Griffith died at age 25 years (probably died giving birth)
her place of burial is unknown
Rachel Blackburn Hammond
first documented child born when she was about 25 years old
at least 8 births in 19 years
she died at age 70
her place of burial is unknown
Mary Proctor Callihan
first documented child born when she was about 28 years old
at least 6 births in about 14 years
she died at about age 84
 |
Mary Proctor Callihan
Callihan burial ground |
Mary Hine Reininger
first documented child born when she was about 21 years old
at least 11 births in 25 years
she died at age 71
Reininger Cemetery
My 6th Great-Grandmothers
Maria Imler Reighard
age at first documented birth is unknown
at least 3 births in about 6 years
age at death is unknown
place of burial is unknown
Mary Elizabeth Steel Wisegarver
age at first documented birth is unknown
at least 4 births in 12 years
age at death is unknown
place of burial is unknown
Elizabeth Griffith Blackburn
first documented child born when she was 24 years old
at least 9 births in 18 years
she died at about age 74
buried in an unmarked grave in Friends Cemetery
Deborah Dicks Hammond
first documented child born when she was about 22 years old
at least 6 births in 16 years
her age at time of death is unknown
place of burial is unknown
Rebecca Harlan Blackburn
first documented child born when she was about 18 years old
at least 13 births in 26 years
she died at age 44 giving birth to her 13th child
place of burial is unknown
"...no love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child." Jeffrey R. Holland
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All original content, images, commentary, etc. copyright © by Joy Denison 2015-2016. All rights reserved. All writings, poems, speeches, essays, images, scans, likenesses, etc. by Adam Ickes (b 1845) as well as personal histories, images, and all other content by all persons referenced and discussed within the pages and posts in this blog may not be copied, shared, or reproduced in any way without expressed permission by the owner unless included here from other referenced sources or are historical records already considered to be in the public domain.
