When I embarked on the extensive project of transcribing and archiving all of Adam Ickes' writings (more about that later), I became so impressed with a couple of things he wrote concerning the value and place of women. How did he, I wondered, escape the culture that so freely and fully invaded every nook and cranny of society from the beginning of time? Men could dare to dream, to explore, and to venture beyond what was expected and familiar. Women, however, (despite very few exceptions) existed only for the pleasure and comfort of men.
One aspect of patriarchy and male entitlements involve the type and the division of labor between husbands and wives. That didn't seem to be a problem for my early Bedford County ancestors. As poor, hard-working immigrants, manual, back-breaking labor for both partners defined their occupations. Husbands and wives, moms and dads, both, equally, worked hard providing for themselves and for their families. They worked from sun up until sun down, and probably then some. The men worked in the fields as the women worked in and around home. It was, by necessity, a cooperative effort. And it paid off. For the most part, each generation acquired more wealth and security than the one previous.
If I had to guess, I would say it was probably my 3rd great-grandfather, Conrad, who first settled into a real posture of modern patriarchy. Shortly after the death of his first wife (and mother of his children) he remarried. He placed all the work of his two farms on the backs of tenant farmers and retired to a house in town. HE retired, but I'm 100% sure his wife did not. All of the traditional women's roles of the day would have been expected of her on a daily basis, and she, I have no doubt, was quick to oblige. Studying his last will and testament, he kept tight reigns on his assests, leaving his wife for the most part only that which she brought into the marriage, and dictating his wishes concerning other aspects of his estate long after his death. He wielded all the power and the control, of that there was no doubt.
Adam (Conrad's son) was not suited to follow the profession of his forefathers. Farming was just not his thing. He valued education. He loved learning! It's so evident in everything he writes. He referenced brilliant scholars and philosophers in so many of his essays and speeches. He quoted them in such thoughtful and meaningful ways. He was very well read. His career began as a teacher of children while a teenager himself. Following his time in military service he served as a director in the school system and the superintendent of the Sunday School at the local Lutheran Church, indicating to me that inspiring others to pursue learning was of utmost importance to him.
Apparently, though, being a teacher and and scholar just didn't pay the bills. His natural knack and interest in merchandising complimented his scholarly endeavors. It enabled him to wear the clothing of a gentleman rather than that of a laborer. He could continue to pursue his interests and indulge in the few finer things the small community of Pleasantville had to offer. Ellen's life, however, probably didn't change much. Unless a man could find his way into wealth, influence, and power, providing his wife with domestic help and high-end living, her life still revolved around the menial and tiring tasks of 19th century living. And she had very little choice in the matter. It was her lot in life.
Throughout my personal family history, this pattern of men living the patriarchal dream - being free to pursue their interests and vocations however and wherever they choose - on the backs of submissive wives stuck in traditional household roles began with Adam and continued through the generations. I won't delve into any of the details, but suffice it to say the non-questioning willingness of my youth to buy into the notion that "this is the way it is" and "this is the way it's supposed to be" and my feelings about it now are not one in the same. I will add, however, I see progress - great, noticeable progress.
Back to the first paragraph of this post. Adam's writings often sang the praises of women. As a Civil War veteran he gave many Memorial Day speeches and he wrote several versions of exactly the same speech. In what I think was the last and final Memorial Day speech he gave he added a special tribute to the womens' contribution to the war effort. It was beautiful and it had even greater meaning to me which I'll share in a subsequent post. In another essay entitled "Dress" he wrote,
What multitudes of young women waste all that is precious in life on the finified fooleries of the toilet. How the soul of womanhood is dwarfed and shriveled by such trifles, kept away from the great fields of active thought and love by the gewgaws she hangs on her bonnet. Woman was made for a higher purpose, a nobler use a grander destiny.
Her powers are rich & strong; her genius bold and daring, she may walk the fields of thought, achieve the victories of mind, spread around her the testimonials of her worth, and make herself known and felt as man’s co-worker & equal in whatsoever exalts mind, embellishes life, or sanctifies humanity.
(The second paragraph was actually not his own though he failed to provide a proper citation. A quick google search told me that it came from: Weaver,
G. S.. Aims and Aids for Girls and Young Women. p 52. New York: Fowler and Wells, 1856.
Google Books. Web. http:/books.google.com.)
Although he writes and proclaims his co-equality with women - that they should be given every opportunity to expand and explore, to think and achieve - that does not appear to be his lived experience.
From my last writing of Adam and Ellen they were living comfortably in Pleasantville PA. Having both grown up there, they were surrounded by loving, extended family with deep connections of history and belonging. I'm at a distinct disadvantage as I attempt to imagine the motivation and the repercussion that moving away from Pleasantville had on them as I really have no way of knowing for sure. But I'm going to imagine anyway. And I'm going to imagine it from a female perspective. And I'm going to do that because right now, at this particular point in time, my heart is turned away from Adam and is turned toward my 2nd great-grandmother, Ellen. I'm speaking for her in a way she could never speak for herself. I really don't care if I'm right or if I'm wrong. I'm just going to tell the story the way that I see it and that I believe it to be from my 21st century feminist perspective. Because I'm not going to continue to use the culture of the past to explain away and to justify wrong doing.
As Adam ripped Ellen away from her beloved home and family, the vile and repressive culture of patriarchy reared its ugly head, robbing her of everything she held dear. It was Adam, not Ellen, looking for opportunity to expand and explore. It was Adam, not Ellen, positioning himself to achieve his own fame and fortune at Ellen's expense. For years and years he left Ellen virtually abandoned and completely void of any semblance of enrichment or self-fulfillment. The amount of hard labor he piled on her while he attended to his professional and civic duties I would consider exploitative and inhumane. Ellen endured. Ellen survived. But enduring and surviving doesn't equate with happiness. Ellen deserved a lot better. And now to tell her story...
All original content, images, commentary, etc. copyright © by Joy Denison 2015-2016. All rights reserved. All writings, poems, speeches, essays, images, scans, likenesses, etc. by Adam Ickes (b 1845) as well as personal histories, images, and all other content by all persons referenced and discussed within the pages and posts in this blog may not be copied, shared, or reproduced in any way without expressed permission by the owner unless included here from other referenced sources or are historical records already considered to be in the public domain.
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